please don't leave me please don't leave me

[deserea]

WE HAD A GOOD RUN
EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT

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deserea nichola saffin

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"Is this how I shoot myself up high "
"Just high enough to get through?"

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[/font][/size]my name is jenni. i've been role playing for 4 years. everyone knows i'm a bitching femme. this world has had my footprints stamped all over it for 21 years. you know my oh so famous characters none[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

WE DIDN'T COME TO COMPETE
THIS IS A DEMONSTRATION

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NAME: Deserea Nichola Saffin
NICKNAME: des, rea
GENDER: female
AGE AND DATE OF BIRTH: twenty one born on March second of 1988
SEXUALITY: heterosexual
STATUS: single
RELIGION: lutheran
YEAR: Junior
MAJOR: Chemistry
PB: Sophia Bush

KICK DRUM BEAT IN MY CHEST AGAIN
WE WILL NEVER BELIEVE AGAIN

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DESLIKES: horse back riding, big cities, her son, real friends, popularity, fashion, music, school, honest work, drawing, having money, not having bills to pay, good grades, pizza, Italian food in general, love, horses, cats, dogs, London, proving her parents wrong, attention, social events, meeting people who don’t know what she did
DES DISLIKES: stripping, strip clubs in general, creepy old men, social services, her parents, her brother, being second best, failing a class, missing class, drinking, being exhausted, not being able to pay the bills, gambling, giving lap dances, having to work too much, not seeing her son, people who just want to sleep with her, not being in control of her emotions, getting lost, losing things, being late, early mornings
PERSONALITY:

• Strives for a normal life ♥ Deserea wants to have that normal life where she doesn’t have lie about what she does for a job, where she can go face her parents. Where she can be married and have her son and see her family without feeling like she is doing something wrong and dirty.

• Resents Authority ♥ She resents authority because of her parents giving her university funds to her younger brother. That and her boss didn’t prevent her from doing something that she’d regret. And the old man who got her pregnant even though she does love her son dearly.

• Ambitious ♥ She is determined to work, raise her son and finish college, and prove to her parents that she is smart capable and strong. She wants to show the world that she can do it, even if she has to do something not so great to get there. She is going to give herself and her son the life she feels that they deserve. She is going to be the one who is on top in her life.

• Self reliant ♥ She is reliant on nothing more than what she can earn for she and her son to live off of. She is not going to accept help from some social services welfare food stamps type deal because that wouldn’t make her ultimate goal of getting ahead in the world and letting her son have all the chances that she had when she was younger.

• Determined ♥ She is determined to show everyone that she is the one who can do it. That she isn’t the one who should have lost her education money to her younger brother. To prove that you can be a single mother and get through university in a different country and still be able to make it ahead in the world.

• Friendly ♥ She is very friendly, she always sees everything as good even though sometimes it’s not. She wants to see the world as a good place so she is kind and friendly to everyone. It was how she was voted prom queen in her high school.

• Motherly ♥ She is motherly, she always has been even before she had had her son. She is the kind of person who loves children and loves to care for others in her life. She was always the mother hen of her friends when she was in high school and now she is severely more motherly. She tells people that they can call her at two in the morning if they are drunk and in need of a ride and she’ll come get them.

• Talkative ♥ She’s always willing to strike up a conversation with people. She loves to talk and hear new things about people but she won’t talk much about what she does or anything like that.

• Emotional ♥ She tends to be a little up and down. She will be happy and joyful one moment mad the next, and crying and sad the next. It is sometimes hard to see what will set her mood up and or down

• Loyal ♥ If someone tells her a secret it will stay a secret. She will die for her friends and family and she will kill for her friends and family. She’d never betray someone that she loves. And she will never give up on them if they betray her. She is willing to forgive and forget.

• Energetic ♥ This maybe partially to the coffee she drinks, but she is very energetic, even though she can look completely exhausted. She is the kind of person that will make the energy come into the room. She always has a kind smile on her face and always an enthusiasm in her voice even if the circles under her eyes say different from what she looks like.

• Socially skilled ♥ She is very good in social situations she knows how to appear well rested and confident even though sometimes in the inside she screams chaos. She is very good at getting through a touchy social situation and staying on top.

• High strung ♥ When she is having a hard day or a day that is going kind of wacky on her she can be high strung. She is usually pretty level though.

• Sees the world through rose colored glasses ♥ She is the kind of person who feels that the world is all good. That life will be great no matter what. She sees the world and things as better than they are.

SECRETS: my parents gave my brother my university money because he was smarter than I was. My son is actually a result of what I did so that I could get into university. I am a stripper so that I can support my son and I and continue to go to university. I am a runaway from home and all I tell people is that my parents let me come over here for school.
FEARS: That I may lose my son, That my parents will find me and make me come home, that I’ll never be able to get out of this life that I am in, That my sons father will come back to the club and have me sleep with him again
GOALS: To find a good job somewhere and raise my son in a way that he can have a normal childhood. That I will be able to someday go back to my parents and show them that I am smart enough for university. To find a guy who will love me and my son. To never have to set foot in a strip club again. To get my degree and a good job.

I CAN MAKE YOUR HEART SLOW
I CAN FEEL THE WEATHER IN MY BONES

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MOTHER'S NAME: Victoria Melissa Saffin
MOTHER'S OCCUPATION: Teacher/Cheer leading coach
FATHER'S NAME: Jeffery Marcus Saffin
FATHER'S OCCUPATION: Dentist
SIBLINGS: Daniel Nicholas Saffin, 17, High school student
EXTENDED FAMILY: Riley Jonas Saffin 3 son
NATIONALITY: Irish/English/French
HOMETOWN: Trenton New Jersey
CURRENT RESIDENCE: London England
BEST MEMORY:

" My best memory hmm. I’d have to say that I have three of them, one of them being my prom when I was in high school, I was wearing this beautiful white with pink gown and I was voted prom queen, I had the perfect boyfriend then too. And it was the first time I had sex with anyone even though afterwards my parents still believed that I was a virgin. I just never told them that I went to my boyfriends house rather than my best friends house. We were in a limo most of the night anyway.

One of my other best memories, was shortly after I found out I was pregnant and abortion to me wasn’t an option and I was thinking maybe adoption so I was in the doctors office for an ultra sound and well I saw my baby on the screen when the doctor showed me his head and he showed me the heart beat and then I fell in love with my son I couldn’t give him to some stranger to raise. His heart beat on that monitor that little living being inside of me was no longer a curse that day he was a beautiful baby my baby waiting to come out into the world and see me and for me to raise.

My very best memory and also the most painful was the day that my beautiful son Riley was born. I can remember that day clearer than my prom, it was May second when he was born. I was meeting a friend that I met at university for lunch since I had dropped out to have my son, well what ended up happening is that we sat down to have lunch and I saw the guy that impregnated me. And me just short of nine months pregnant didn’t want to see him so I got up and I started going off in the other direction and my water broke. My friend luckily had a car and took me to the hospital where she proceeded to sit there and hold my hand as I went through labor, four hours later my son was born. And my god he was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen and it was hard to think that he was inside of me for that long growning. "

WORST MEMORY:

"I have a few of these too actually. And in order from first to last is how I’ll put them.

The first one, well it was the day of my high school graduation and I’d just gotten my diploma and my brothers IQ test came in that same day. Well lets just say it was at my graduation party and my parents came up to me while I was talking happily with my friends about my plans to leave the country and study abroad in London my second semester and all of that junk. And my parents were like Deserea, we’re sorry but your brothers IQ test came in and he is at genius levels so we’re giving your university fund to him. Well for one who does that at your daughters grad party and secondly why would a parent do that to their child well I packed my bags and ran away to London the next day.

The next one was a month after I got to London, I had no money, no job, no way of paying for university and I was boarding with this girl who always seemed to have money and it seemed to come out of no where well I asked her and she told me that she earned it dancing. So I asked her to take me to the place and she did. The next thing I know is that I am up on stage and taking off my clothes getting tips. I end up leaving the place with nothing but an over coat and the next thing you know here I am getting money and paying for the university classes I’m attending during the day and going out and dancing and taking off of my clothes at night.

The third one was after I broke down to the guy who paid for me to get through uni. I was throwing up like you would not believe and I mean full on puking up my guts. The next thing you know I go to the drug store and take a pregnancy test, and not wanting to believe it I go back for three or four more and take them. I had to face it I was pregnant but it turned out alright I have my son. "

HISTORY: Deserea was the production of Victoria and Jeffery Saffin before they were married. They were in a college class together and went to a college party together and the next thing you know a week later Victoria found out she was pregnant. Victoria and Jeffery decided to get married and have their child together. Deserea’s parents had her while they were still in college so they were juggling working as a waitress in a diner and a cook in the same diner. They had different shifts and different class schedules so that they’d always have someone at home with Deserea. When her parents were finally done and all of their schooling things they both found jobs where they could be home with Deserea in the evenings.

Deserea was always a happy child and she didn’t mind being in daycare either. The daycare workers always said that she was a happy easy going girl. She was also very social liking it more when she could be around the other kids at the daycare. She was three when her parents announced that she’d have a baby brother or sister. Deserea was excited when her parents told her that she was going to be an older sister. Her mom took a leave from work. So three year old Deserea and her mother were home all day long. When her brother, Daniel was born, Deserea was a little jealous having just turned four herself she wanted all the attention but everyone was paying attention to Daniel.

When Victoria went back to school to teach, Deserea was just starting kindergarten. Deserea loved kindergarten she loved to be with other kids. It was in kindergarten when she met her first best friends Maria Logan and Johnathan Tropes. She had allot of other friends. She was the kid that comforted the kids that were hurt or crying out on the playground. She was always the one when you played house who wanted to be the mother of the family. She loved to take care of other people and so she was always doing thing.

She started middle school with her two best friends, John and Maria. Maria, John, and Deserea were inseperealbe when they started the sixth grade with all of the same teachers and classes. Deserea also started to stretch her social wings. She and Maria joined Art Club, Spanish Club, Dance class, and anything else they could get into. John joined theater with them where they found he had a flare for acting. Maria found herself a flare in designing sets, and Deserea found herself doing costumes and makeup which were the things that she really liked to do. Deserea was thirteen when she had her first kiss from a guy named Luke. Luke was the guy that Maria wanted to have her first kiss with but it was Deserea who got him at Maria’s birthday party while they were playing spin the bottle in Maria’s basement.

Maria and Deserea had a big blow up at each other and they quit speaking with one another. Maria changed crowds and started smoking and other things like that. Deserea tried to make things right with her but it didn’t work out that way. John however stayed Deserea’s friend and they remained inseparable from one another. Deserea and John worked out their high school classes together. John and Deserea also spent the summer together playing games and things like that.

When they were fifteen John went up to Deserea and told her that he liked guys rather than girls. Deserea who didn’t know what to say told him to meet her after school. She asked him how did he know he was gay if he’d never been with a girl. John told her that he’d been with a guy and he’d liked it. Well she told him he should be with a girl and they had sex that night while her parents were out. John didn’t change his mind and he and Deserea weren’t allowed to see each other anymore because John’s catholic parents blamed her for their son being gay.

It was when Deserea turned sixteen that her popularity truly boomed. She had filled out some and she was confident and friendly and she seemed to have a million friends. She started dating a guy from the football team named Dylan. And they were the completely cliché popular girl popular boy couple that you’ve ever seen. She was always at everyone one of his games wearing his lettermans jacket and always in the front row. She was the kind of girlfriend who was at every practice after she finished up cheerleading practice. Deserea was also the girl in high school who seemed to have it all the good grades, the smart little brother who was a nerd, the hottest guy at school.

When Deserea was seventeen she graduated high school with valedictorian and she was the student voted most likely to succeed. She was voted prom queen both years she went to prom. She was having a huge graduation party at her house with all of her friends and family there talking and things like that. She and Maria patched up at the party but after Maria left she ended up getting into a car accident, not killed just hurt and kind of down for the count. Deserea and Dylan had a fight that night after the party ended and they broke up so that he could go make conquests of the girls at college where he was going on a full ride scholar ship. She was also sat down by her parents that night and they told her that her brother was getting her college fund because he was smarter than she was.

Deserea’s perfect world was falling apart that night. That night after her parents and her brother had gone to bed. After all the aunts and uncles and other family and friends left, Deserea packed her bags and left her parents house. She went to her car with all of her stuff and went to sleep out at the park. The next morning she went to the bank, went to somewhere she could sell her car for cash, and then to the airport. She got herself the first ticket she could to London England as humanly far away from her parents as possible for the money that she was willing to spend.

In London Deserea wasn’t thriving, she didn’t know her way around the city, she had found herself a crappy apartment that she couldn’t afford for very long. She had the landlord on her case all the time even after she’d sold most of her jewelry and designer clothes and bags and things like that. She was soon unable to pay anymore and her landlord kicked her out of the apartment. After that Deserea was taking odd little things here and there to get something to eat and she was also doing things like stealing tips off of tables at restaurants. She soon found herself in a little twenty four hour a day place when she met a girl, Louisa who was in the diner winding down from work. She was counting a wad of cash, and Deserea’s curiosity got the better of her. She went and asked the girl how she made all of that money and Louisa told her that there was this club down town and if she wanted to she could come check it out get a job.

Well that was what Deserea did she went to the club, where she was told to get up on the stage and audition for them. She did what she was supposed to with the stripping and all and she was hired to work. Soon enough she was able to get herself a little place. She finally was at the point where she could try and get herself the money that it took to get into university and start turning her life around. She was getting good tips from one older gentleman in particular. She took him into the back of the club. Where as she was giving him the private lap dance he was asking her questions.

She stopped dancing and broke down to him, and he offered to pay for all of her schooling under one condition. She sleep with him, being eighteen she told him alright so that she could get her schooling paid four. A week later she was in classes at the university. She was still doing the stripper thing to keep up on her rent and keep groceries in her fridge and all of that. When she started getting morning sickness and things like that, at the time not sure what it was and her period being over four weeks late, she went to the drug store. She went home with her usual groceries and a pregnancy test. She took it hoping to god that she wasn’t but the sign on the test showed different.

She was pregnant, Deserea dropped out of school so she could go and have her child. Deserea made sure that she never missed a doctor’s visit or anything like that. She kept her job at the strip club by serving drinks behind the tall bar that you couldn’t see she was pregnant behind because of the dim lighting and all of that. Deserea was working serving drinks and making sure that people didn’t grab the girls that were on the stage. She was there until two weeks before her due date when she was meeting the stripper Louisia who’d gotten her involved in the underworld of London when she first moved there, for lunch. Deserea saw the man that made her pregnant in the first place across the street trying to get away from him she was moving as fast as her pregnant belly would let her go. When her water broke in the middle of the restaurant she was in.

She was rushed to the hospital by some people who had a car there, and Louisa went with holding her hand the whole time. Four hours and thirty minutes later, Riley was born to Deserea. Having planned on putting him up for adoption she had him in her arms and she couldn’t do it anymore. She was keeping her son. When he was ten months old Deserea started up with school again. She got through it still working at the club behind the bar getting drinks and keeping men off the stage where the girls dance. She started on her chemistry major again and now three years later she is a junior still struggling to raise her son, go to school and work all at the same time.

BABY YOU'RE A CLASSIC
LIKE A LITTLE BLACK DRESS

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ROLE PLAY WORD: --

Deserea looked at her son, it was her week off, she had been out of school for the semester now. Her son had just turned three that previous may and here they were together on New Years eve. They had had a nice quaint little Christmas at a friends house. She still hadn’t called any of her friends or family from the States. She wasn’t ready to face them just yet. Riley still wasn’t asking about his father. She was just fine with him never asking her about his father. She didn’t need him to know what she did for money or how they were able to afford the stuff they did. Someday she’d get out of it and she’d be able to live her life free of that stuff. She looked at her son who was asleep on her lap. It was half an hour to midnight. She actually felt oddly lonely at the moment. There was no one in her apartment but her and her son and he was asleep. Riley wasn’t ready to stay up to ring in the New year yet.

Why did she always feel depressed around this time, she didn’t know. She had her hair in nice loose waves from the party she’d gone to with some friends earlier. She had had a half a glass of champagne but no more than that when Riley started to get tuckered out she’d picked him up thanked the hostess graciously and gone home and now her she was sitting at home watching the new year roll in on the tv. She didn’t have the dropping of the ball here like in the States. She didn’t know how to tell her son what was going on. She wasn’t going back to the states she wasn’t asking her parents for help at all she was going to make it on her own this time. She was old enough and they didn’t know about her baby. They didn’t know they were grandparents yet.

She saw that the clock struck midnight and she turned on her favorite new years song. Auld Lang Syne by Mairi Campbell and Dave Francis from the Sex and the City movie. She was sitting there all alone. She turned off the TV. She wished that the words of this song would be true at some time. She wished all the stuff that she did could just be forgotten and she could start with a clean plate. She didn’t want the stripper thing to follow her the rest of her life. She dimmed off the lights as she carried her son with his head on her shoulder. She just had the song a repeat and she was working on tucking her son into bed with his blanket and his thumb in his mouth. She sighed and went back out to the kitchen in her apartment and poured herself another glass of champagne. She looked out her window and saw various people on the street kissing. Wishing each other happy new year. Many were under umbrellas in the weather of London where it seemed to rain no matter what season it was.

The twenty one year old red head leaned her head against the window. She wasn’t really listening all that closely when her three year old son came out of his bedroom. She didn’t see him there until he piped up saying.

“Momma” said Riley

“What baby” asked Deserea turning to her son.

“I want momma” said Riley “I was scawed”

Deserea picked up Riley, her blonde baby her milk and honey baby. She started to rock him singing the Auld Lang Syne song to him. She was facing the window. She loved him and he was there.

“Riley baby kiss” said Deserea

Riley kissed her on the lips as they did, she knew it wasn’t really what most people wanted for a new years kiss. Most people were getting a kiss from someone at a party dressed up in shiny new clothes and all but her she was in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and giving her footy pajama boy a kiss at midnight on new Years. He eventually fell asleep and she took him to her room to sleep.

[JOSEPHINE PAIGE VICTORIA]

few points before i accept this app:

» could we please get the history a little more plump?
» i wasn't sure if you forgot to put this in or not but, the role playing password?
» also, we require that all post titles be put in all lowercase or all uppercase letters, i fixed your title. just keep that in mind when you're threading.
» we ask, in the rules, for your display name to be your characters full name in lowercase.

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