you put my head in such a flurry

[audrey]

WE HAD A GOOD RUN
EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT

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audrey indiana monroe

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"if home is where the heart is
"then we’re all just fucked"

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*

[/font][/size]my name is stephanie. i've been role playing for seven years. everyone knows i'm a bitching femme. this world has had my footprints stamped all over it for eighteen years. you know my oh so famous characters ---[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

WE DIDN'T COME TO COMPETE
THIS IS A DEMONSTRATION

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NAME: audrey indiana monroe.
NICKNAME: aud. rey-rey. indy.
GENDER: female.
AGE AND DATE OF BIRTH: nineteen; august 13th.
SEXUALITY: heterosexual.
STATUS: single.
RELIGION: atheist.
YEAR: sophomore.
MAJOR: journalism.
PB: hanna beth merjos.

KICK DRUM BEAT IN MY CHEST AGAIN
WE WILL NEVER BELIEVE AGAIN

- - - - -

AUDREY LIKES:
fashion, guys, her brothers, cookies 'n cream ice cream, lazy days, london clubs, alcohol, reading, fashion week, italy, flowers (especially roses), alternative and classic rock music, beat poetry, walking on the catwalk, couture fashion, marc jacobs, dancing in the rain, her body, headbands, the magazine cosmopolitan, starbucks coffee, renaissance artwork, miniature yorkie dogs, heart-shaped glasses.
AUDREY DISLIKES:
her father, her mother, drugs, being away from her brothers, broken heels, hangovers, tourists, ferry boats, fake people, people who like to shove religion down other people’s throats, the church, how unorganized she can be, thunderstorms, spilled coffee, sewing, excessive touching, most insects, bobbies, camouflage pattern on clothing, being late, driving (she prefers cabs, the tube, or walking), country music, beehive hairstyles, missing home so much.
PERSONALITY:
determined }} to say that audrey is a determined girl is kind of like an understatement. her whole life she has been driven to do more in life than just settle with a minimum wage paying job like her mother. it was dreams and aspirations that motivated her to stick in school when her friends were dropping out because of disinterest. once she has set her mind on something, she works her hardest to achieve it. that's not saying she would do anything to get to it, but she isn't one to just give up with a fight.

sheltered }} someone can't go through a tough experienced like audrey has gone through without being changed. she has no trust in anyone except her two brothers. of course men are at the top of her not-trusting list. while she appears like a very outgoing person, she is quite the opposite deep down. it's just a cover that she puts in. as far as relationships go with this, she will eventually end up pushing guys away from her after a while. there is a part of her that just cannot handle the attachment, so she does her best to disconnect from it all. it's just apart of her defensive mechanism because she doesn't want to be hurt again in any way.

intelligent }} audrey has never been shy about learning. since she was little and could read, she never stopped from there. after her father would finish raping her, it was a book that she would turn to and get lost in the pages. in high school, she received a's and b's and nothing ever below that. her determination to make more of herself than others her age fueled those grades. most don't really peg her as an intellect kind of girl since she dreams of being a model, but it's quite the opposite. in her mind, she thinks that being intelligent also gives her the one-up, but she's not a snooty-tooty type brainy who puts it in your face.

caring }} compassionate is like a second language to audrey. she isn't one to pass up helping a stranger on the street who dropped their papers or such like that. it was always other people that she would put before herself. even back from when she was little, that was the way audrey was. living in the poor part of new york city never changed that. she just saw it as a better outlook on life. just because she lived horribly didn't mean that other people missed the opportunity to see the nice in others. sometimes people see her compassion in others and take advantage of that. it's been known to happen, but audrey isn't stupid when she sees someone using her. sometimes she just can't help being ultra nice to a stranger.

free-spirited }} since putting her father away in jail, she has come into a new berth. before she would just sit around and do nothing, too numbed by what her father would do to her during the nights. ever since he went away, she's become more free. independence has become her friend. there are nights where she will just go out to mingle and party, never too afraid to walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation. other times she will just do something entirely witty around london just for the hell of it. she's never one to say no to adventure anymore. although still cautious, she has learned that you only live once and to take as many days of joy that you can. just because something bad happened to you in the past doesn't mean that it makes you stop living.
SECRETS:
her father raped her regularly from when she was seven years old until she was sixteen, she has suffered from insomnia since she was sixteen and her father went to prison, was once pregnant by her father but later lost the baby because of him, may possibly have a drinking problem but won’t admit it to herself, once attempted suicide by cutting her wrists, hasn’t ever really had sex since all she's known is rape.
FEARS:
that her father will get out of prison and come find her, extreme heights, being raped again by someone, falling in love/commitment, having sex, facing her mother again, not living up to what her brothers believe she’s capable of, most insects, needles.
GOALS:
to become an internationally known supermodel, to get over her fear of needles and get a tattoo, to once again face her father and give him a piece of her mind, to make her brothers proud, to prove her mother wrong, to one day trust a man again enough to be with him.

I CAN MAKE YOUR HEART SLOW
I CAN FEEL THE WEATHER IN MY BONES

- - - - -

MOTHER'S NAME: sydney charolette monroe [forty] .
MOTHER'S OCCUPATION: waitress.
FATHER'S NAME: christian alexander monroe [forty-one].
FATHER'S OCCUPATION: --- [inmate in prison]
SIBLINGS: alexander joseph monroe [twenty-one, law student], mason charles monroe [twenty-three, accountant].
EXTENDED FAMILY: ---
NATIONALITY: american.
HOMETOWN: new york city, new york, united states.
CURRENT RESIDENCE: london, england.
BEST MEMORY:

" i can remember it distinctly. it was my thirteenth birthday. of course the only ones who had remembered were alex and mason. i had spent most of the day doing nothing since no one had remembered. when i had returned home from school, i found a note on the table. that chicken scratch alex calls handwriting said that they had devised a treasure map for me as a birthday present. excited, i followed all the instructions. knowing them, they made it a challenge for me. their treasure map eventually led me across new york city to coney island where i found them standing. they took me out for hot dogs and into the amusement park. that had to have been the best birthday i have ever had just because my brothers had put so much effort into doing it all and keeping it a secret from me. mason was never good at lying. to make the night even better, by the time we got home, dad was fast asleep. i got a great birthday that year."

WORST MEMORY:

" my worst memory had to be a few days after i had turned seven. it was the weekend, so my mom was off working all night. both of my brothers were gone to friends' houses, never liking to stay the weekend at the house if they had to. that left my father to get boozed up all night. i remember distinctly that i couldn't sleep that night, so i was up skimming through one of the fashion magazines my mother sometimes got from the gas station. i heard the front door slam open and hit the wall signaling that my dad had returned from the bar. sitting quietly with my side lamp on, i heard him stumble his way down the hallway. it seemed like he was on his way to pass out in bed, but he stopped outside my room. i could see his feet making shadows in the crack underneath my door. when he finally came in, i could smell the whiskey on his breath from across the room. it only got worse when he came to sit on the edge of my bed. he stroked my hair, calling me his princess. not sure what to do, i just smiled and nodded. the way he slurred made him a little hard to understand at times, but he talked about mom and how she was such a bitch. he said she was holding out on him. at the time, i didn't know what that meant. being older, now i do and knew i should have ran then. his hands started stroking my face as he told me how pretty i was. stupidly, i told him thank you. he seemed to take it as an invitation to let his hands roam around the rest of my body. he was my dad, so i didn't know what to do. not sure what else to do, i told him i was tired and wanted to go to sleep. that was when he became angry and lustful. he told him that i would go to bed when he said i could. it was then that i knew i was in real trouble. i tried to get around him and run for my door, but his hand caught my wrist. he told me that i would enjoy this and that i was helping him out. he ripped off the nightgown i was wearing. when i tried to scream for help, he covered up my mouth. that was when i started crying. i try to block out the rest, but to put it simply, my father went on to rape me. after he stumbled away drunk, i lay in my room naked and bleeding. i felt so completely dirty. all i wanted to do was tell someone, but my dad told me if i did that no one would believe me and that he would hurt me even more if i did. so i just went to sleep, curled up in my blankets."

HISTORY:
it was a stormy night on august 13th that the final child of sydney and christian monroe was born. to make matters all the more strange, it also happened to be a friday that day. one more hour and she would have been born the next day, but little audrey indiana monroe just couldn't wait. her mother had spent only a couple hours in delivery before delivering her third and last child. unfortunately for audrey, she was born nearly a full month premature and with traces of cocaine already in her blood system. the hospital seemingly overlooked that while baby audrey recovered for the next few weeks. it was almost three weeks later when she was finally able to be brought back to her home to join her parents and two older brothers.

audrey's early childhood was spent fairly simply. she would spent her days with her two brothers who were two and four at the time. they would be watched by their mother's sister while their mother went off to either score drugs or work tables and their father worked a low-paying construction job. this babysitting arrangement would change two years later when their aunt died of lung cancer. audrey herself never really recollected any memory of her aunt, but if something vague came to mind it always had to do with her aunt chain smoking while teaching one of her brothers to play cards. from then until age six, she would spent her days playing with other kids at a daycare in the building next to her's. this is where audrey got her first attachment to someone outside her family and it had been one of the helpers named natalie. it was a while after she had turned six that her mother informed her that natalie had passed on (although she used less soothing words) and that she would be starting kindergarten soon anyway.

saddened by the loss of her older friend, audrey would go on to have detachments from all of her classes from kindergarten up through high school. her concentration was on friends and the classwork, never getting attached to another person like natalie again. around the age of seven was when her father first started to rape her. her mother, always high on cocaine, never noticed or never bothered to try and stop it. for fear of what her father may do, audrey kept her secret to herself and from her brothers. it is something no one at any age should experienced, but audrey would go on to handle it for nine more years. she did her best to cover up bruises her father might leave from being rough, do her best to shower up good after to get the stench off, do her best to make it seem like she was just another ordinary girl. as the years went on of this continuing, she perfected her cover.

her breaking point finally came shy of her sixteenth birthday. not feeling well for days, audrey finally went to see a school nurse who gave her a pamphlet after hearing of her symptoms. it was a pamphlet for a local clinic for pregnant girls. shocked, she went and received news she never wanted to hear. audrey was pregnant with her own father's baby and nearly a month along. she wasn't sure what to do at that point. one thing she did know was that there was no way her father could know about it. being more than intelligent when actually sober, her father soon put pieces together a week later and flew into a rage. he would proceed to beat her through the night until neighbors finally called the cops for all the screaming and crashing. two broken ribs, a broken ankle, one rape, and one miscarriage later, audrey found herself talking face-to-face to a female officer about what happened. unable to hold it in any longer, her guts spilled out and admitted what had been going on the past nine years up until that night. her father would go on to be arrested and brought to trial. alex and mason would stand by her side while her mother would stand by her husband, knowing no better. christian monroe would eventually be sentenced to a 20 year prison sentence with possibility of parole.

life after that would seemingly return to normal for audrey. unable to do anything else, she would continue to live with her mother. at eighteen, alex had moved out and onto law school unable to bring audrey with him like he wanted. already in college, mason also could not afford to take his little sister from the hell hole they both once called home. audrey would endure living with her mother for two more years. sydney took every chance she had to make her daughter's life a living hell for ripping apart their family. numbing to oblivion by the cocaine, she cared not for all the torment her own daughter had been put through. she only felt misery for herself since her husband was now gone and there wasn't extra money coming in to support her drug habit. audrey did her best to not pay attention to what her mother did after the trial, but suspected her nights were spent with different men in run-down hotels. doing her best to concentrate, she went on to graduate high school in the top thirty percentile of her class. that was when audrey hit a dead point and didn't know what to do with her life.

it was one night when she had been cleaning through her room aimlessly that she discovered one of the old magazines her mother used to buy under her bed in a box. flipping through it, audrey found her inspiration for life. the models that littered the pages of that magazine inspired her. they were beautiful, confident, bold, and independent. they symbolized everything she dreamed of being one day. she told her remaining "family" of her aspiration. of course her brothers backed her dream, giving her words of encouragement and even some money they had saved up for her fresh start. on the other side of things, her mother laughed. "what a worthless dream. you could never amount to something like that. you need beauty for that, not brains," her mother had said. with more motivation to prove her mother wrong, audrey got herself a job and saved up. paired with the money that her brothers had given her, it was enough to get her to london and into a flat with several other people. that's where she'd been for the past six months, working, attending college for journalism, and doing her best to get a place in the modeling world.

BABY YOU'RE A CLASSIC
LIKE A LITTLE BLACK DRESS

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ROLE PLAY WORD: --

no matter how many books she may have read, advice she had gotten from others, or classes she had taken, nothing really could prepare her for motherhood. dark arts spells she could master within days (aside from crucio, but she ignores that one), but being a mom was something completely different. but it wasn't like it was different in a necessarily bad way. the moment that her son came into the world, adalia really couldn't get a grasp on anything else at that moment. since then, sirius has been the core center of her world. nothing else in her life up until that point could even compare to what she felt for her son. it was hard to think of eight months ago when she had first found out that she was pregnant that she had regretted everything that had to do with the conception of her son and that she had even for a moment considered not even having him.

the love that she had for sirius really couldn't be topped, but that didn't make raising him any easier though. all the books she had read in preparation for his coming into the world were some help, but every mother adjusts differently. perhaps it was a little more hectic for adalia, what with having a newborn and dealing with her insomnia. those two added together equaled little sleep at all for adalia, but really she didn't care. her son needed her the most so sleep could always wait. besides, james coming and going with helping her did make a big difference as well. there was no way that she could do it all on her own, like she had offered to james. even as she walked around her house, cradling her son close to her chest, she thought about to that night when she had offered james an opt out. she knew know that she would have never been able to do this without him if he had taken her offer. now she knew just how lucky she was to have james and just how grateful she was.

of course, it had been a couple weeks since sirius' birth. even with having her son around, adalia still had this feeling tearing away at her. it took her several days after leaving the hospital for it to trigger perhaps what had been the reason: scorpius. of course he had always been on her mind previous to giving birth to her son, but one couldn't really blame her for her mind being occupied otherwise since. it wasn't like he wasn't ever in her mind, but it was kind of like her feelings for him kind of had to take a back burner for a while since she had a brand new son who needed her more than anyone else in the world. after a few days of not hearing from him though, adalia couldn't help but worry. she had asked esabella where he was and got nothing. hell, after a day or two, she even went to the malfoy mansion in search for him. that proved to help her none since either of his parents knew where the slytherin had gone. of course, that didn't help her at all and only increased her worrying about where he could have possible gone or where he could be. adalia drafted several owls to send to him, but each found the garbage since she did not like how any of them sounded. eventually, she finally crafted a letter to him that she thought perhaps would convey things to him and sent it off.

when he had written her back, adalia really couldn't express how great it made her feel. of course, he didn't really sound like he was in the greatest mood with her, since she had apparently taken so long to realize that he was gone. of course she would take that, but what she wouldn't take was him still assuming that she had feelings for james. now that sirius was actually born and james would be around more, of course this was going to be more and more difficult for her to prove to scorpius that she in fact did not. curse her mouth for talking before even really thinking. hell if she would ever let that happen again on a level like that. and now that scorpius had requested her presence and made it known that he did in fact want to see her, adalia made a vow that she would dedicate all she had to proving that her feelings were for scorpius and him alone. this meant that she would be standing at that platform at the train station right when he asked, waiting for him. there was nothing that would keep her from that. alright, well there was one thing, but she had dutifully taken care of that.

carefully bundling sirius in his carrier dressed as warm as he could possibly be and equipped with his bag that held things for the next couple days, adalia made a finally check-over that she had everything possible that sirius would need. of course, she had packed almost everything short of his crib, but at least she was being thorough. shrugging on her coat, adalia hoisted the bag onto her shoulder and picked up sirius' carrier to head off for the rather short walk to james and aphrodite's house. at least they had a place that was walking distance from her own. it made things quite easier since they were both so close, and in the same area as james' parents' house. that way, everyone could see sirius whenever they really pleased, since adalia's door was always open (so to speak). plus, she really didn't like apparating, so this was good. after walking the distance to their house, she made sure that she got over everything about sirius she thought they would need to know (even though they both probably well knew) and kissed her son goodbye before heading back to her own home. by the time she arrived home, there were still a few hours before she due to be at the hogsmeade train station.

the quietness of her house was rather disturbing for her since she was so used to hearing sirius crying. now that it was too quiet for her, there was music playing loudly as she rushed about her house getting ready. she slipped into the shower to take one of those longest ones she had ever taken in her life. to say that she wanted to look perfect to scorpius was rather an understatement. she went over washing her hair twice, her body twice, and double checking that her legs were clean and smooth before finally calling the shower complete and slipping out to fuss over just what to wear. part of her just wanted to go completely casual and put on some pair of sweatpants and a random t-shirt, but she knew that her mind would never let her do that. this was the first time that she was seeing scorpius and she wanted to make an impression, even though he had already called her beautiful despite being eight months pregnant at the time and covered in flour from her baking. adalia stared at her closet for probably an hour before she finally chose a lavender purple dress that was strapless and reached about mid-thigh on her.

by the time she was done applying her make-up and properly fixing her hair that included a headband the same color purple as her dress, adalia glanced up at the clock to see that it was three minutes until eleven. her eyes grew wide, staring at the clock. time had flown faster than she had wished. cursing herself under her breath, she flew from her vanity and into the black high heels. spraying herself with some muggle perfume that kaden had given her for christmas this past year, she smirked a little at herself in the mirror. it had been months since she had actually dressed up and months since she thought that she had actually looked nice. of course, her former petite body wasn't quite back to where it had been before becoming pregnant, it wasn't necessarily fat. she just wasn't toned like she used to be, and at least she still had the perk of having a larger chest area, courtesy of sirius. not like she had much in the first place, which made it all the more better. adalia looked up at the clock once more and grimaced. she had planned to get there early, now she was rushing. she quickly grabbed her purse and took a deep breath before a small pop echoed her house as she apparated away.

what had meant to be an apparation to the train station in hogsmeade ended slightly askew. a small pop echoed as she found herself standing in the center of main street in hogsmeade. "oh for fuck's sake!" she hollered out loud, looking around. no one else was around, which was a good thing. this is why she didn't want to be rushed. her apparation wasn't good even if she was fully prepared. she had never really been confident in it, which was why scor was usually the one to come see her those late nights when they would owl each other. her ears twitched as she heard the clock start to ring, signaling that it was now eleven o'clock and adalia took off at a fast run towards the station. there was no way that she was going to try to apparate again for fear that she would make herself even further away. running in heels wasn't really her forte, but adalia made due with it because scorpius was waiting for her. she had spent hours getting ready for this, she had sent sirius to james' house. tonight was meant to be for her and scorpius, and only them and of course she had to be the one who screwed up being on time. by the time she had finally reached the station, she was well out of breath and felt like her feet were going to fall off. she had abandoned the headband she was wearing since it messed up her hair as she ran.

adalia stopped to catch her breath as she stood there on the platform. brushing her hair out of her face, her eyes looked up to glance around for him. it wasn't that hard not to see him. with his hands shoved into his pocket and leaning against a wall was standing the one person who could make her breath disappear. for a moment, she stood there completely frozen in her place at the other end of the platform. he looked smashing and that was one hell of an understatement. butterflies filled her stomach as she just looked at him for a moment, from his platinum blonde hair to his face to the nice ensemble he had on. now she was grateful that she had dressed up. her hand brushed through her hair to fix it quickly before slowly walking towards him. the ringing of the clock tower had finally stopped, but she wasn't sure how long it had been since it had actually stopped. she was just thankful that he was still standing here. as she approached him, the butterflies in her stomach became worse. this was all so strange for her. scorpius was her best friend, yet here she was standing all dressed up with butterflies in her stomach and as nervous as one could possibly be. "my apparation was off. i landed in main street instead. it's not an excuse, but i'm here now," she said, her voice barely above a soft whisper. her teeth bit down on her lower lip as she looked at him, partially expecting this to be a dream and that she would wake up at any minute. yet nothing could help ease the anxiety and nervousness she was feeling right now, but just being here with him within an arm's reach of brushing her hand against his cheek like she wanted to so badly at this moment made it a little better.


tag - scorpius malfoy.
word count- 2,062
music - more than useless by relient k
notes - i am sooooo sorry that this took so long! but i hope my post will make up for its absense. :]
credit - pictures are credit to THOSE WATERMELON SMILES at caution 2.0

[LEVI OWEN JONES]